Dark Skin Woman Only Approached by Other Races

Well, I have to say, I truly believe after I posted that question asking black men their complaints of the black woman and causing such an uproar, that Facebook page began opening up to more questions such as this, in a more respectful manner. 

This week a dark skin black woman asked everyone what was going on, why were the men in her own races over looking her?

Well, they answered sensibly and respectfully.  Well...the majority of them.  To sum it up, some thought maybe it was her fault that she was sending out some vibe that made men go away from her.  In this case, the poster responded back to everyone's answers even though she could have stayed anonymous.  To 200 responses she finally said that she would work on her vibe and start to approach black men instead of waiting for them.

Now that's out of the way, one man said he had to confess that he only liked red-boned women.  For those of you not familiar with this kind of talk, we black folks have what is called racism against our own race which some pointed out on the post that no other race exhibits. 

A few of the answers attributed this racism to the "field" and the "house" negro syndrome during slavery time.  Another said that there could be other issues but realized the fact that "don't discount the fact that her skin tone isn't one of them.  Black-on-black prejudice is real." Aman. 

Another said that it goes the other way; that some light skin sisters get rejected because men prefer dark skin women.  Another girl said of a prejudice she gets that "Other races would always tell me how beautiful I was. Black men would usually add "for a dark skin girl" after saying it, as if dark skin is associated with ugly." 

Then you had the ones said "You might not be attractive".  Ha, ha, ha, that's messed up.  Another said that she didn't think that men discriminated when it came to skin tone. Umm...I'll leave that alone.
Then that one comment that 'yet another post belittling  black people.  Umm, I'm sorry, but sensitivity to a problem when it comes up and people are discussing it never solves the issue...talking about it does. 

What about the field of psychiatry, how in the world would it even be a business if no one talked about their problems?  Most of the time, there is no solution given, but the fact that the person in need of counseling could get out their concerns was a healing process unto itself.

Whatever the case may be, I have to admit that growing up myself majorly living in the white society where I was the only black 99% of the time.  I feared getting any sunlight or thought of my skin becoming dark that I used sunblock with the SPF of 70 and above.  It worked to keep me lightskin.  Now, I have released from this that I go in the opposite direction and actually get tans and focus on loving the skin that was given to me. 

I do have to say that when I was light skinned and when I would become a dark, dark color, I definitely saw a difference.  At one time I used to fundraise for my church and the days that I had become very, very dark I noticed a huge difference, a considerable difference in the people's first reaction.  Went from trust to fear when I approached them compare to my 'lighter' days. 

Not my imagination and take it however, but I'm old enough and experienced all races and communities to know that her question is valid.  This post was on Sunday so I thought I would incorporate this into the story.  I thought the wild friend twice divorced could have this problem maybe. 

Why this topic?  Because my Elizabeth character only is attracted to white men and diss the brothers.

I haven't been writing much because I have been mostly subconsciously reworking the story in my mind to see the bigger picture to see that spirit world my characters are living in that is real to them and make it real to me.

I do have to say that as I back off of the physical writing, writers will relate to this, my subconscious and my regular thinking is working hard.  So, when you read the 9-page epilogue on the dashboard above, you can say bye, bye to the dry rhetoric as now I found Giselle's writing voice for it to spruce it up and adding to the story of her history of why she is not married. 

This is the main reason I have not been able to write, I know Giselle, I am Giselle, but putting it on paper (slices throat).  If I or any other creative person on earth could somehow transfer what is churning into our minds and place it into the world unhinged, you would see less crazy, drug-dependent, crazy, did I say crazy artists out there!

I am still not ready to post the seven pages where we get to see Mr. Washington, I will wait 'till the page gets more views, and they are coming so I appreciate you viewing these updates every week, it's inspiring me to keep going.

I like to give a shout out to the TwitterFam visiting here, you all keep me going and I promise the book will be worth it and you can say you were there as the book found its voice.  Let's make history.  Everyone else if you want to follow me on twitter I am at, twitter.com/iamdenisemorris.

Have a lovely weekend and week and see you here again next Saturday! 

Love and Harmony People,
Denise Rochelle M.

Update: Black Men, What is Your #1 Complaint of Black Women?

Welcome back!  Well, a couple of posts ago I mentioned that I would be hearing from a forum after I asked a question.  It took two weeks, so I posted the question twice. 

The first post was stating my purpose for asking the question "Black men what is your biggest complaint against black women." and then I thought recently it wouldn't post, so I reposted a shorter question asking both black men and women what were their grievances about the other side.

Of course, you know why I asked because I deal with the issues and problems of black men and women in the dating pool in My Black Pride.





I thought I would post some of the comments here, but let's just say, Wow, I as poster was even attacked for asking such a question.  It was a very heated debate.  Men were so happy for the opportunity for an open ear and loved that a female was asking the question.  Then there were other people of other races chiming in that they felt left out, then you had the ones that were over accommodating for the negative question by saying how wonderful black men and women were, they had no complaints and they didn't want to add to the negativity. 

Even one poster after several men and women on either posts listed their grievances and even shot off onto one another because of their answers point blank said, "Now this is why all the other races don't like ya'll.  You always putting each other down."

Well, the grievances were long and valid.  One was directed at me, posters are anonymous by default, to why don't I offer a solution.

And there we go.  I feel finally there is the point!  Exactly.  My time is not wasted on this story venture after all.  Another person had said that the grievances were no different between the races, but unfortunately this is not true.  Unlike all of the other races, black Americans have a deep scar when it comes to the interaction of the black male and the black female that is to this moment being swept under the rug.  There are of course problems similar in other communities, but when certain problems arise that are ingrained into that community cloaked over those people, there must be a beginning source to that problem.

Other communities, there is not a common tie to men/women issues as much as the black issues.  We have one common tie that began it all.  DON'T get mad at me for making excuses, because these aren't excuses.  Take a deep look, the black community never overcame slavery, were taught by their slave ancestors and some are still raising and living MENTALLY like their slave grand, grand etc. how can you be any different if the chain is not broken?

I have been released from that chain and through Black Pride I feel it's a great forum to open up that wound, pierce through it and cleanse it.  Like a mission of sorts.

Who can deny that black men were encouraged just over a century ago to be strong only, bare children even outside of wedlock, and leave those children. Many did not raise their families and were sold to other ranches like cattle to bare more children with multiple women.  On the other hand, the black woman was to be strong on her own and take care of every single child in the household including her own and cater to a man that was her 'boss' called the master. 

I had written a post back on that forum with a little anger that people were mad I asked the question stirring up trouble and posed this answer, but I think that question has been dropped.  Too much heat.

Bad for the forum, good for My Black Pride and Prejudice book. I  actually have to go back to the original post and see the answers and incorporate them.

This week's writing was mainly filling in holes in my story and fleshing out the story of Giselle having to change positions from the original Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Darcy came to her twice not including the letter scene explaining his defenses, and changed it to Giselle having to approach Mr. Washington with all of her pride gone and open the door for him to come to her once more.  So there are a few additional scenes I added for this occasion.

Well, the topic of black men and women disrespect for one another was so evident on the posts I have to search for it and see the bigger picture.  It was actually two people on either post that stated I needed to give a solution.  Isn't that like a sign from God? 

What solution do I offer in Black Pride?  The same as the original book gave, get rid of pride and fear and respect one another.  Except both characters in my version have to go through life changing moments to change their bad habits and let go to come together the second time around as one couple.

That's all for this week.  I don't like to 'stir up no trouble', ha, ha but sometimes, to make change, someone has to go into the kitchen and mix it up a little bit.  And I am the perfect person for stirring up the pot!  See you next Saturday!

Love and Unity,
Denise Rochelle M.