Did Mr. Darcy Have Lust or Love?

Religious posts say that they don't fear Jesus and lust is the devil's hand tool and the reason relationships don't last. True.  How do we tell the difference?  That was the question posted?

To first answer this question, we need to truly understand what is Lust and what is True Love.

Lust comes without commitment and is easy to obtain yet it does not last.  This is because of selfishness that the two feel these feelings and it is not based on the other person. It is based on obtaining this feeling only for themselves without regard to how the other feels, almost like a spell.





Love is the opposite and takes time to invest. 

"Lust is at first sight." I don't know.  Maybe, but I know of people who have true love that knew someone was the one from the minute they saw them.

Now Mr. Darcy didn't not have a relationship with the Elizabeth character yet, halfway through the book he says that he can no longer control his emotions and tells her that he wants to marry her and despite all of the reasons not too.  This kind of sounds like lust to me.  But where love at sight may have lust at its roots, when the couple turns their feelings for the other out of want and not neediness, and it becomes unselfish in their desires to be with the other, then this is love.

"Because lust satisfies a temporary need and takes less time."

Lust is overwhelming just like our Mr. Darcy experienced.  But so is love.  So how can one tell the difference of a man who falls in love with a woman from the first moment they meet and ends up asking for marriage with only a few outings together?

I think if the two fulfill the others needs and live for the other, this is possible.  I also saw where people have their ideal person all their life in the back of their mind even if they do not pursue this type of person for a relationship and when they see them in the street, they see the exact match of their own internal workings and they know immediately, this is far from lust.

It is almost a survival instinct from cavemen times whatever that means.

I thought the best explanation was:

"Lust is like a windows start up program, it's running right off the first look...now love takes some getting into the program and once you start feeling it, you have no control." :)


My Writing Week

I must say after 30 years, LITERALLY, of writing everyday whether professionally or from imagination, I finally understand the process of writing.  You can teach an old dog new tricks.  After all, if the old fart is willing to learn, they can do about anything in their old age. ;)  Anyway, what have I learned exactly?

I learned to relax with the story.

I went from taking months and months to bang out a decent first draft to having a story rewritten twice within a week and once a month and then to stop dead in my tracks and not being able to approach the story.  I started to panic that I would never be able to let the story rise to the possibilities from its basic standard, characterization and written word.

Now since receiving this gift directly from God in October, I have started to see that the story is being worked on somewhere and at the right time it will come back to me and I can approach it with a pure heart, no worries, no panic and give it the best rewrite.

Damn, I mean darn the deadline I gave myself of having a good 3rd or 4th draft finished ready for a self-publish read over.

Forget rushing the process.

If I say "Black Pride" is my baby, maybe it will take 9 months.  I just have this urge to have it out into the world while 2013 is still present for some reason, possibly the 200th year anniversary of "Pride and Prejudice" being this year brings it to a full circle somehow and brings good fortune.

After watching a series of movie trailers (I usually do this for inspiration to envision my own story as a trailer) I starting to see the story outside my head.

I see that to approach it, there will be some character changes, race changes and a few scenes I have to completely write, but coming from a person who takes many years on a horrible story rewriting from different angles, I know I have something here.  Believe me, I know how NOT to write.

So, that is my week. Thanks for joining.  If you ever want to give a shoutout or give your input, then leave me a message or post.  Or follow me in Twitterland twitter.com/iamdenisemorris.  Talk to you later!  See you next Saturday!




XOXO,
Denise Rochelle

Update: "All Men Want Is Sex"

Can you believe this?  "All men want is one thing." How old do you think this person is that makes this kind of statement?  Well, I was just recently told this by a family member this week.  This person always downs men because of the heartbreak they incurred through life.  On the other hand, the person NEVER once has ever said what they have done wrong in these relationships.  Does this sound like someone of 20, 30, how about 40?  I actually heard this from a 60 year old.  This argument in the black community is just getting too old, because I don't stand for this anymore in my life and for a long time. 

What was my response to this person?  Do you actually think that you can have a sensible conversation with someone with so much baggage?  I tried to say that people bring into their life what they say others are.  That's all I could get out to say`before the backlash.  In her case she has some daddy issues.  The man has been dead for over 40 years and she still can't get over it.

Are there black men that are no good?  Just as much as there are black women who kill their men.  Where does this get us going but  back and forth, black people.

I am a strong believer, sister n' brothers in the law of attraction.  You think there are only negrods out in the universe all that will you attract are chickenheads.  Also, what I have witnessed is a woman who has a good man becomes embittered by what she believes he is not fulfilling her needs and her low energy level perpetuates non-existent threats to her relationship or being. To defend her Black Pride, she take it out on a good man and turn him into exactly what she feared.  Can you see Michelle Obama having these little girl issues with Barrack?  If she does, she kept her insecure emotions in check and backed her man up into the White House.

I believe you get what you put out, and you get what you think period.  So, Dr. Rochelle here prescribes every woman who says this mess to just start saying, 'I don't care what type of men are out there for the other women because I am a faithful, heavenly creature of God and He has a man just like me waiting for me if I just believe.' That's rockstar quality and even if he shows up at your death bed, he will show up, probably bring you back to life.  This is how I always thought and looking back, I had a few fakers who got through, but they respected a sister before they were found out.
The universe protects a positive mind. 

Anyway, my focus in Black Pride isn't going to go to that extreme, but I do have one character who is a little wild and a friend of the Elizabeth character who is a jaded divorcee twice removed like my family member above.  She'll be making an appearance for two separate scenes to mimic this kind of character.  If any of you have watched Why Did I get Married, and you remember the buck wild Angela character, she will be as wild as her.

How was my writing week?  Horrible.  Just disgraceful.  I am not in the writer's environment.  I remember J K Rowling's interview with Oprah after she had finished her last book.  She was in this castle-like hotel room where she was able to get away from the raucous of her family home to concentrate on writing.  Also, in her beginning writing career, she would go to little nooks, and cafes.  No, I'm around family noise, senseless interruptions, music etc.

But I being a good veteran, I try to keep my word.  So, your reward for coming here today, I just posted the full epilogue which is the second revision.  So take a look.  It needs a lot of work.  It is sort of my assignment/schedule to post it at a certain time to keep motivated in a very unmotivated environment.

Well, for this next week, I'll return on Saturday and hopefully by then I will have more to report about my writing endeavor and encounters.

Have a peaceful week,
Denise Rochelle M.

Update: Can't Force A Good Thing

Merry Messiah celebration and Merry Christmas, everyone!  As I said, I didn't write.  It was a natural week off to let the story rest and settle and come to me.  You can't force a good thing.  I do realize that by surviving this tough year, I need to be tough with my character Elizabeth character, Giselle.  If you have studied screenwriting, you know they tell you to throw your character up a tree and be mean to them and throw rocks at them when they try to get down.  Well, I never was mean to my characters, hence boring story.  As a writer, sorry to say, but you are God to your story world and its universe.  I wouldn't accept this. 

I always let my story tell itself and not DIRECT or guide their journey which, hell, I have to admit leads to no focus or direction.  It just becomes an elaborate journal that I wish others would like.  That is selfishness and I realize this 35 years later of writing, that I need to give my character a rough time and to make come out of it a better person in such a way that the audience can go, oh, they survived this, maybe I can too.  Because essentially, my character is me who has gone through something that an audience or reader is going through and it shows that they can conquer this problem as well.

 

There are many issues in Black Pride, but the main one if you look at my about page, is the issue that Giselle deals with her black prejudice and it holds her back from the ONE.  The forum has not gotten to my question asking men to voice their opinion on their grievances with black men.  I'm waiting on this website because they are very truthful and honest.  

 

So, now I will write this week focusing on the comedy when it comes to me and figuring out how to make Giselle's life harder than just people and men problems.

 

Until then, smooches, enjoy the family and see you Wednesday!

 

Love and Hope,
Denise Rochelle M.