The "Old Maid" Stigma is Gone Forever, Yahh!!

Jane Austin lived in a time when one of her characters, Charlotte, was willing to marry a boar of a husband because she was almost 30.  There was a time not being married by 25 was societal suicide.  Now, Hollywood stars and actresses at their first and second go at marriage well into their mid 40s are successfully having children or hiring someone to have their children, ha, ha.

I wonder when this stigma went away?  I am 39 never been married, no children and I remember when people were pushing me around the 29 year old mark in this way, "Why don't you go have one of these" "You don't have to have a husband, just go have a baby".    Twice I was told the latter by two separate women who didn't know one another and had that idea pegged times three different daddies.  That is fine and dandy, but I just knew that I should wait.

Especially since we are no longer in the era of life-long marriages and "I do forever only once."  I wanted from the start the only once.  I think around the, let's see I have to think about this one, age 38 that I did start to get a little frightened.  Not that I wouldn't find someone, that's easy, but that I wouldn't be able to live to see my grandchildren, then secondly that maybe I wouldn't find the one that I had dreamed in the back of my mind.  Then around 39 I was at the point where I said two things, if Jesus could die single so could I and I was ready to settle with having a cat that loved me as long as I could live well enough to leave something behind for the world.

I almost forgot the "Are you a lesbian?" "do you think you are too good for others than maybe you need to look at yourself can't be something wrong with everyone you were with" "You are going to wait too late and not have any chance to have children" "women who wait until 40 usually don't have good eggs" blah, blah.  These are burned on my mind.

But something happened when I look back.  I must have had a guardian angel or just had louder alarm bells, but no matter what, there was always a disynchronization  with the guys I tried to date or court or marry.  Something major would pull them away, they would completely not be interested without a chance of going forward if I liked them or I completely was disinterested despite their affections or good looks never even changing for a second.  I was destined to repel anyone before the month mark.  Thanks goodness, whew.

I survived the Old Maid era of Jane Eyre, Jane Austin and...tell me if there is some other famous Jane from the 1800s, please.

So, why this talk of old maids concerning Pride and Prejudice when all the sisters were married off at a decent age?  Because a man recently asked if it was okay to be 35 single, never married and no kids.

My character in Black Pride is exactly that age and being like her creator she has decided that that is just okay with her and she is not going to change her high standards one bit, not even for Mr. Darcy.

Of course Lizzy and Mr. Darcy get rid of their edgy bits and pride in order to come together and it was worth the wait.  I can finally say the same as my real life Mr. Darcy and I get rid of the dark stuff that we mirror for the other just like the Pride and Prejudice couple.

Glad to live in a new era of not having to hurry up and marry because while you are married to the just for now guy or disillusioned from all the heartbreaks, you might miss your mister Darcy with all his ego and yours ready to be blown away!!  Dreams do come true, we have to do a lot of work on cleaning ourselves until it happens just never change your high standards or break them.

Until next Saturday,
Denise Rochelle